Naruto's New Messenger!
by RengeMaster
Summary: How do things go with Naruto's new computer and msn?
1. Chapter 1

_**Naruto's New Messenger!**_

How would things go if the Naruto cast were to have access to the internet?

How would things go if this was Naruto's first time on msn?

Read to find out!

(Pre-time skip characters)

P.S.

When words are in " " that means that they are thinking it, and not actually typing it 

**Chapter 1:**

Note:

Dattebayo! ----------------Uzumaki Naruto

LovelyBlossom ----------Haruno Sakura

ImAnAvenger------------Uchiha Sasuke

SoTroublesome…--------Nara Shikamaru

_Start a conversation with LovelyBlossom_

* * *

_Click Click_

_**TIKA-DUN!**_

LovelyBlossom may not reply because his or her status is currently on Busy Dattebayo! is typing a message… 

**5 minutes later**

**Dattebayo! Says:** OH HIYO SAKURA-CHAN!

**5 minutes later**

**LovelyBlossom Says:** Baka! Cant you see Im busy?!

**Dattebayo! Says:** yes

**LovelyBlossom Says:** Then don't bother me! 

**5 minutes later**

**Dattebayo! Says:** Then what is the point in being online?

**LovelyBlossom Says:** Gawd, you type slow…

_LovelyBlossom has left the conversation_

"I'm lonely now…"

_**TIKA-DUN!**_

"Ooh, Shikamaru's online!"

_Click Click_

**3 minutes later**

**Dattebayo! Says:** Oi! SHIKAMARU!

"Damn his name is long…"

**SoTroublesome… says:** Oh, Hiyo Naruto…

**5 minutes later**

**Dattebayo! Says:** What is new with you Shikamaru?

**SoTroublesome… says:** n2m, its raining outside, so the cloud watching isn't that pleasant right now.

**10 minutes later**

**Dattebayo! Says:** Really? I haven't noticed! I was too busy setting up my messenger! By the way, what's n2m?

**SoTroublesome… says:** gawd you type slow. Haven't you heard of abbreviations? Like lol, brb, g2g, and n2m?

**2 minutes later**

**Dattebayo! Says:** Nani?

_Shikamaru's mom:_ "Shikmaru!!! You com here this instant!"

_Shikamaru:_ "Troublesome woman…"

**SoTroublesome… says: **I got to go. (g2g) My mom's calling me.

Shikamaru has left the conversation 

**5 minutes later**

**Dattebayo! Says: **Wait! You haven't told be about abbreviations!

_**TIKA-DUN!**_

**ImAnAvenger Says: **Hey dobe.

_Dattebayo! Is writing a message_

**10 minutes later**

**ImAnAvenger Says: **gawd you type slow…

ImAnAvenger has left the conversation 

**Dattebayo! Says:** Oi! Sasuke! How are you doing? I challenge you to a match! Fight me Dattebayo!

"Too late..."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 part 1**

Dattebayo!-----------------Naruto

LovelyBlossom----------Sakura

ImAnAvenger-------------Sasuke

SoTroublesome-----------Shikamaru

MyAdmiration--------------Hinata

Copy-Nin-------------------Kakashi

FlamesOfYouth-----------Gai

GrnBeast-------------------Lee

NotAPervert!--------------Ebisu

HyuugaProdigy-----------Neji

Ebilness…----------------Orochimaru

**

* * *

Naruto: WTF?!? Orochimaru?!?!**

**RengeMaster:** Yes, Orochimaru.

**Naruto:** Why is he in this one?!

RengeMaster: Dunno… 

**Naruto:** What do you mean "Dunno"?!?

**RengeMaster:** SHUT UP! MY STORY! picks up a lamp

_SMASH!_

**Naruto**: (Xo X)

**RengeMaster:** On with the fic! ()-b

* * *

Start a conversation with SoTroublesome Dattebayo! Is writing a message

**3 minutes later**

**Dattebayo! Says:** Oi! Shikamaru!

**SoTroublesome says:** Hn?

**5 minutes later**

**Dattebayo! Says:** Can you tell me these abbreviation thingys?

**SoTroublesome:** Sure. Heres a lits of them and their meanings:

XO DAMNIT!  
XB stupid

QFT Quoted For Truth  
AFK Away From Keyboard  
Plz Noobish for please (can say Pls)

OMG Oh my God  
ASAP As Soon As Possible  
ATM At The Moment  
BRB be right back  
g2g got to go  
hw homework  
w.e whatever  
wtf what the f  
n2m not too much  
stfu shut the f up

Lol -laugh out loud  
lmao -Laugh my ass off  
lmfao -Laugh my f ass off  
rofl -roll on floor laughing  
rotfl -roll on the floor laughing  
rotflol -roll on the floor laughing out loud  
rontflmao -roll on the floor laughing my ass off  
rontflmfao -roll on the floor laughing my f ass off

You got that?

**Dattebayo! says:** 0.o

**SoTroublesome says:** good

SoTroubelsome may not reply because his or her status is set to offline 

The next few hours, Naruto spent his time memorizing the various shortcuts to messaging. He even took the effort into trying to remember where the letters where on the keyboard. He really wanted to type faster. Isn't he persistent?

_TIKA-DUN! Copynin has signed in_

_TIKA-DUN!Sakura has signed in_

"Ooh! Kakashi-sensei!"

Start a conversation with Copynin Copynin may not reply because his or her status is set to busy 

_Click Click_

**Dattebayo! Says:** Sup!

**5 minutes later**

**Copynin says:** Oh, hello Naruto, what's new?

**1 minute later**

**Dattebayo! Says:** N2m, Haha U type slow Kakashi-sensei

**5 minutes later**

**Copynin says:** I don't think you should be the one talking Naruto. From what I heard, your type pretty slow yourself.

**2 minutes later**

**Dattebayo! Says:** wtf? R U kidding me? It was that stupid Baka-suke, he told you didn't he?

**5 minutes later**

**Copynin says:** actually, everyone was talking about it.

**Dattebayo! Says:** 0.O

**Copynin says:** Well, I'm a little busy right now Naruto. I'm reading a good fanfic. It has LEMONS!

**Dattebayo! Says:** Fanfic? What's a fanfic? And what do you mean lemons? Does that mean it's sour?

_Kakashi: " I got to get him to stop talking to me…I'm getting to the good parts!"_

**Copynin says:** Uhm, Naruto, you like Saruka right?

**Dattebayo! Says:** O

**Copynin says:** Okay, well go to this website (Google.ca) and image search "NaruSaku"

Copynin may not reply because his or her status is set to offline Naruto: "NaruSaku?" 

Naruto did as he was told, went to the website, and image search "NaruSaku"

_Naruto: "OMG I have to show Sakura"_


	3. Chapter 3

**Discliamer:**

The idea where Orochimaru and Kabuto appear on webcam came from another fanfiction. I give credit to whoever it was – unfortunately, I forgot who wrote it. So yea, credit to whoever that was. Although in this fanfiction, the way they appear is different.

**Chapter 2: Part 2**

Dattebayo!-----------------Naruto

LovelyBlossom----------Sakura

NotAPervert!--------------Ebisu

HyuugaProdigy-----------Neji

Ebilness…----------------Orochimaru

**Note:**

Sorry guys, some of the characters that I said was gonna be in chapter 2 part 1 aren't. I'll try to add them in it next time. Anyway, enjoy!

* * *

_Start a conversation with LovelyBlossom _

_Click Click_

_Dattebayo! Is writing a message_

**Dattebayo! Says:** SAKURA-CHAN! SAKURA-CHAN! SAKURA-CHAN!!! LOOK AT THESE PICTURES!

_Sends Sakura NaruSaku Pictures_

**LovelyBlossom** says: Naruto… Where did you get these pictures?

**Dattebayo! Says**: Internet

**LovelyBlossom says**: You don't usually lock your door to your apartment do you Naruto?

**Dattebayo! Says**: No, why?

_LovelyBlossom may or may not reply because his or her status has been set to offline_

"I wonder what that was about."

**_KNOCK KNOCK_**

_Door swings open_

"Oh Hiyo Sakura-chan! Wait… what are you doing with that bat?"

"…"

"I really don't think it's big enough to play baseball here! A-and why are you holding a cheese grater?"

"…"

"Oh Sh-"

This scene has been removed due to rated M violence. For those who wish to have the scene… Just use your imagination.

**--1 month later after Naruto got off the hospital –**

_Start a conversation with NotAPervert! _

_Click Click_

_Dattebayo! Is writing a message_

**Dattebayo! Says**: Hey Closet-Pervert!

**NotAPervert! Says:** Please do not call me a pervert.

**Dattebayo! Says:** Yea, w/e. Thanks for giving me that "All The Right Type" program thingy. It really helped me speed up my typing!

**NotAPervert! Says:** You are welcome. After all, I am a special jonin. I specialize in private tutoring.

**Dattebayo! Says:** Yea w/e closet-pervert.

**NotAPervert! Says**: I AM NOT A PERVERT!

_Dattebayo! May or may not reply because his or her status is set to offline_

"Bloody kid…"

* * *

_Start a conversation with HyuugaProdigy_

_Click Click_

_Dattebayo! Is writing a message_

**Dattebayo! Says:** Oi! Neji! Have you seen Sasuke?

**HyuugaProdigy says**: No I have not seen him Naruto.

**Dattebayo! Says:** That's strange, I haven't seen him since he said he was going to visit some remote village.

**HyuugaProdigy says:** Yes, it is indeed strange. Sorry Naruto. I must go now. Farewell.

_HyuugaProdigy may or may not reply because his or her status is set to offline_

"Damn…"

**_TIKA-DUN!_**

_Ebilness… has added you to his or her contact list_

_O Allow Ebilness to see you and add to your contacts list_

_O Block and do not add Ebilness… to Contact list_

_CLICK_

_Dattebayo! Is writing a message_

**Dattebayo! Says:** Oi! Who's this?!

**Ebilness… says**: Do you really want to know…?

**Dattebayo! Says**: Duh!

**Ebilness… says:** Alright…

_Ebilness… has invited you to join him/her to use webcam _

_Ebilness… has invited you to join him/her to use microphone_

**Dattebayo! Says**: Oh! It's Orochomaru! Oh hey! It's Kabuto in the back! Hey Kabuto!!!

**Ebilness… says:** Oh and we have a little guest over here.

"Kabuto, take off the sheet from the bed will you?"

"Of course honey" Starts to blush and pulls off sheets off bed

**Ebilness… says:** Take a look at who we got here Naruto…

_Moves webcam to bed's direction_

**Dattebayo! Says:** S-Sasuke?!

Sasuke lay on what seemed to be a white bed with 4 metal loops, two on each side of the bed. Unfortunately for him, Sasuke's arms and lets were individually tied up with what looked like a large amount of purple panty-hose, which were skillfully tied around the young ninja's limbs.

**Sasuke:** OMG! NARUTO! IT'S HORRIBLE! HORRIBLE NARUTO!!!

THEY'RE DOING THINGS TO ME! OMG NARUTO HELP ME!

**Kabuto:** Shut up! _comes closer to Sasuke picking up a bottle of chocolate syrup_

**Sasuke:** WTF!? CHOCOLATE!?!

**Kabuto: …**

**Sasuke**: WAIT! THAT DOESN'T GO THERE!!!! OMG!!! AAAHHHH!!!!!!

**Dattebayo! Says:** O.0

_Dattebayo! May or may not reply because his or her status is set to offline_


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter...4?**

Dattebayo!...Naruto  
ImAnAvenger...Sasuke  
IPaintMyNails...Itachi  
ChubbysRUULE!...Chouji  
Mama-Uchiha...Sasuke's Mom

* * *

_Start a conversation with ImAnAvenger _

Click Click

Dattebayo! is writing a message...

**Dattebayo! says:** Oi! Sasuke!

(Itachi walks into Sasuke's room with a bottle of sake)

**ImAnAvenger says:** ...

Naruto: "I hope Itachi delivers the _package_"

**In Sasuke's Room**  
Itachi: "Little brother, drink this..."

Sasuke: "Wtf is that?"

Itachi: "JUST DRINK IT!" Shoves bottle into his mouth upside down

_GULP GULP GULP_

**Itachi:** "Little brother, Naruto-kun has a message for you... Whispers into walky talky "Hokage6, the ramen is in the bowl, I repeat, the ramen is IN the bowl..."

**Naruto:** "Copy that Toe-nails, Copy that."

**Dattebayo! says:** Oi, Sasuke! HoW yA FeELiNg?

**1 minute later**

**ImAnAvenger says:** Hehe...WAAaaazzzzaaaapp...

**Dattebayo! says:** haha, Waaaazzzaaaaap!

**ImAnAvenger says:** WAAAAAZZZZAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!

**Dattebayo! says:** WAAAAZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!!

**ImAnAvenger says:** Hehe, Hoold up... Ima Get fatty...

**Dattebayo! says:** ???

_ChubbysRUULE! has been invited into the conversation_

**ImAnAvenger says:** WAAAAAZZZZAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!

**ChubbysRUULE! says:** Wtf?

**Dattebayo! says:** Lol, WAAAAZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!!

Chouji: Shrugs Oh well...

**ChubbysRUULE! says:** WAAAAAZZZZAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!

**Dattebayo! says:** WAAAAZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!!

**ImAnAvenger says:** WAAAAZZZZZAAAAAAAAPPPPP!!!!

**ChubbysRUULE! says:** WAAAAAZZZZAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!

**Dattebayo! says:** WWWWAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

**ImAnAvenger says:** ZZZZZZAAAAAAAAA!!!!

**ChubbysRUULE! says:** AAAAAAAPPPPPPPPP!!!

**All:** "..."

_Ebilness... has been invited to the conversation_

**Ebilness... says:** Heeeelllllooooo Chil-dren!

**ChubbysRUULE! says:** Who is - ?

**Dattebayo! says:** Hey Oro-hime! (Hime princess) Sasuke-chan is his house... AND HE'S DRUNK!!

**Ebilness... says:** OMG-WTF-BBQ!!!!1!!!1 I'LL BE RIGHT THERE!

_Ebilness... may not reply because his or her status is set to Im-on-my-way-to-Sasuke's-house. (away) _

Sasuke: "Ebil-ness...? Who's - ?"

Upon remembering the horrible, horriffic, nightmarish, grotesque, omgImBeingMolested, experience he had uhm, experienced ol' Oro's place, he suddenly got over his intoxication. Eyes wide, he realized he had to act quick.

Sasuke: Ebil... Ebil... EBILNESS...?!?! OMG I GOTTA GET OUTTA HERE!

KNOCK KNOCK

"SaSu-Chaaaann! Let me IIIINNNN!!!"

Door Breaks down and is followed by a thin layer of smoke with a sillouette behind it

Sasuke: "Please... don't! DON'T COME ANY CLOSER!!!!"

Like a comedy horror movie, Sasuke's scream of agony and terror reached first the neighborhood, then Konoha's border, Fire Country's border, the atmosphere, and finally... OUTTER SPACE.

**AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!**

view from outside of neighborhood

**AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!**

view from outside Konoha's border

**AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!**

view from Fire country's border

**AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!**

View from high altitude in atmosphere

**AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!**

View from... OUTTER SPACE

**AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!**

Naruto: Putting hand to ear and listening to the scream "Hehe... Got'cha!"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Dattebayo!...Naruto

ImaGoodBoi!...Tobi!

-Gomen-…...……Hinata  
ImAnAvengr……...Sasuke

LadiesMan...……..Jiraiya

IWillKillYou………Gaara!

I have decided not to continue the part about Itachi, Sasuke, and their mom talking about…sex, and for a few good reasons as well. For example, I had this idea of how to do it… but after neglecting the fic for a month or so, I lost it XD. Maybe I'll continue that part if it comes into demand. Anyway, enjoy the new chapter!

* * *

_Start a conversation with ImAnAvenger_

_Click Click_

_Dattebayo! Is writing a message_

**Dattebayo! Says:** Oooiiii Sas-kaay

**ImAnAvenger Says:** wtf you want..?

**Dattebayo! Says:** taaalkk to meeeee

**ImAnAvenger Says**: … whatever.

_ImAnAvenger may or may not reply because his or her status has been set to offline_

Naruto: "Kuso…"

**_TIKA-DUN!_**

Naruto: "OooOo WhO's ThIs?"

_Start a conversation with LadiesMan_

_Click Click_

**Dattebayo! Is writing a message**

**Dattebayo! Says:** OOooiiii Who's this 'tebayo?

**LadiesMan Says:** Oh ho ho! Naruto! I knew this would be your address!

**Dattebayo! Says: **ZOMG SANTA!?!?

_LadiesMan Is writing a message_

_**-1 minute later-**_

**LadiesMan Says:** I AM THE ONE THAT CAN STEAL A WOMAN'S HEART IN AN INSTANT, THE MAN WHO'S NAME HAS BEEN KNOWN THROUGHOUT THE WOLRD, I AM THE ONE WHO IS CALLED THE TOAD HERMIT! I AM NONE OTHER THAN

_LadiesMan Is writing a message_

Naruto: _moves mouse over a 'certain' icon_

_Click!_

_You cannot send or receive a message from LadiesMan because you have blocked him/her_

Naruto: "freak."

_**TIKA-DUN!**_

Naruto: stomach growls "mmm hungry…" looks at clock to see the long hand pointing at a crayon-drawn picture of a ramen bowl taped over the number 1 "ZOMG! RAMEN TIIIME!!!!!" Goes into kitchen to fetch the said bowl of noodles

**_READY?! .::!::.NINPO! P.O.V. CHANGE NO JUTSU!.::!::._**

_Start a conversation with Dattebayo!_

Hinata: Keeps mouse hovering over the user "Dattebayo!" while mumbling to herself

_Click Click_

_-Gomen- Is writing a message_

**-Gomen- Says:** Naruto-kun? Is that you?

_**-2 minutes later-**_

**-Gomen- Says:** Naruto-kun? Hello?

**-Gomen- Says:** Are you there?

**-Gomen- Says:** Hello Naruuuutttttooooo

**-Gomen- Says:** Uhm… I wanted to tell you…

**-Gomen- Says:** I

**-Gomen- Says:** I love…

-**Gomen- Says**: I lurves yopu! ----- This is Hinata's typo kuz she's nervous XD

_-Gomen- may not reply because his or her status is set to offline_

Naruto: comes back with three bowls of ramen "Oh, someone messaged me!" Puts down the three bowls on computer motherboard, but spills it, letting the liquid drip into a convenient crack in the computer that just HAPPENED to lead into a vital part of the computer. (Wet + electronics BAD)

_a tiny explosion is heard from within the computer as the screen goes black_

Naruto: ... _-Bleeeeep-_

_**-2 weeks after Naruto gets a new computer-**_

Naruto: Yatta! I got a new computer 'tebayo!! Now to try this NEW MSN version.

_installs MSN_

_TIKA-DUN!_

Naruto: Yosh! I come back after 2 weeks and people are already wanting to talk to me! XD

_Click_

**ImaGoodBoi! Says:** Tobi's a good boy!

**Dattebayo! Says:** lol? So I guess your name's Tobi?

**ImaGoodBoy! Says:** A good boy is what Tobi is!

**Dattebayo! Says:** I see…

**ImaGoodBoy! Says:** Are you a good boy? Kuz TOBI IS!!!

**Dattebayo! Says:** Erm ya! Haha I guess I am a good boy!

**ImaGoodBoy! Says:** Yay Good boys!!!! XDDDD

**Dattebayo! Says:** ehehe… ya… go…good..boys..

**ImaGoodBoy! Says:** So… do you know any other good boys?

**Dattebayo! Says:** uhm…no?

**ImaGoodboy! Says:** ohh… does Good boy number two wanna huuuuuug?

Naruto: o.0 "Wtf?"

ImaGoodBoy is sending you "GoodBoyPrize.jpg"

Accept Decline

Naruto: …well.. it DOES say "prize"… clicks accept, then clicks open "What in the name of miso ra..men?"

_sees a picture of Tobi laying down on a large scoop of icecream_

Naruto: uuhh…. Click

_You cannot send or receive messages from ImaGoodBoy because you have blocked him or her_

_**TIKA-DUN!**_

Naruto: OMG! GAARA!

_Start a conversation with IWillKillYou_

_Dattebayo! Is writing a message_

**Dattebayo! Says:** Oi!!! GAARA!!!! HOW'VE YOU BEEEN?!

_IWillKillYou is writing a message_

**IWillKillYou says:** Playing.

**Dattebayo! Says:** playing with what?

**IWillKillYou Says:** Sand.

**Dattebayo! Says:** Sand?

**IWillKillYou Says:** Sand.

**Dattebayo! Says:** So how's the wether in Suna?

**IWillKillYou Says:** hot

**Dattebayo! Says:** do you gets ever get snow?

**IWillKillYou Says:** No

**Dattebayo! Says:** Really?

**IWillKillYou Says:** really

**Dattebayo! Says:** Hey are cows real?

**IWillKillYou Says:** What?

**Dattebayo! Says:** Are COWS real? I only see them on tv.

**IWillKillYou Says:** okay then.

_Dattebayo! Is writing a message_

**Dattebayo! Says:** hey Gaara, don't you think its great that if none of us die on missions and we all get to retire, we can look back at our ninja academy class picture and say to each other:

**IWillKillYou Says:** …

**Dattebayo! Says:** "Look there's Tenten; she's a weapon shop owner, Look there's Chouji; he's a food critic! Look, theres Iruka-sensei; he's –

**IWillKillYou Says:** Dead?

**Dattebayo! Says:** …

**IWillKillYou Says:** ...

_Dattebayo! May nor reply because his or her status is set to offline_

Gaara: He know's it true.


End file.
